WHAT DO YOU DO WITH SOMEONE WHO CONTINUES TO DO WRONG?

I’m a traveling rep for God’s kingdom of grace, I think.  More out of my office than in, I spend much of my time in conversations with people inside and outside the church.

A lot of my conversations this week have had to do with the Christian way of forgiveness.  People are still sorting out what last weekend’s sermon means for them and their life.

A friend asked me, as we had lunch yesterday, “What do you do with someone who is unkind and continues to treat people unkindly?  What do you do when a person refuses to change and stop their harmful behavior?”

I thought some of you might have the same question.

I told my friend that forgiveness doesn’t mean shrugging or being passive in the face of injustice or unkindness or sin.  In fact, Jesus (see Matthew 18:15-ff.) suggests a way of responding:

First, go to the person whose behavior is destructive or sinful and talk directly with them if that is possible.

Second, if they refuse to deal with the issue, recognize their role in what is wrong, or stop sinning, then take one or two others who can help bring light and grace to the conversation.

Third, if the person still doesn’t deal with their sin then take the person (and issue) to the church.  I take that to mean bringing the issue to a pastor or trusted friend for prayer and consultation and support.

If the person continues their destructive and sinful behavior there are two other options mentioned in the New Testament.

In Luke 10 Jesus talks about “brushing the dust” off our feet and moving on if someone refuses to welcome us.  So sometimes our response, even as we forgive someone, is to move on.  Put distance between us and them.

Paul, in Corinthians, mentions there are actually times when for the safety of the community and the health of the community, a dangerous, destructive, unfaithful person must be removed even from the church.  Over the course of my ministry we have actually had to do that, asking someone to move on.  Jesus does caution us about making judgments too quickly, though, in his Parable of the Weeds in Matthew 13:24-ff.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean shrugging in the face of sin or injustice.  Those things can be addressed faithfully even as we let go of our need to make everything right in a relationship or even the ledger.

Addressing the subject of forgiveness, Frederick Buechner explains in the section of the Lord’s Prayer where we ask God to forgive as we have forgiven others, Jesus is not saying that God’s forgiveness is conditional upon our forgiving others.  In the first place, forgiveness that’s conditional isn’t really forgiveness at all, just fair warning; and in the second place, our unforgivingness is among those things about us that we need to have God forgive us most.  What Jesus apparently is saying is that the pride that keeps us from forgiving is the same pride that keeps us from accepting forgiveness, and will God please help us do something about it.

Forgiveness is a gift we first give ourselves.  It is a way to keep life from being cluttered by grudges and wounds and bitterness.  But it doesn’t mean shrugging in the face of sin and injustice.

See you out and around this week!

In Christ and for Christ,

Mark

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE STUFF LEFT BEHIND BY THE THAW?

One of the seasons in northwest Alaska is “the thaw.” Over the last week you have gotten just a glimpse of what “the thaw” looks like in Alaska after seven months of snow has piled up.

The snow, when it falls, is beautiful.  (Really!)  When the white stuff melts away, though, we see the junk that has been hidden.  It’s not pretty. Cups, plastic bottles, fast food wrappers, discarded newspapers, cigarette butts, and other material  we’ll not mention.

What do you do with the junk left behind by the thaw? Do you let it accumulate from one year to the next?  I lived in a small village where trucks were still sitting in yards where they had ground to a halt ten years before.  Junk was often left where it had fallen or stopped.

In relationships   -at home, at work, at school, at church-  there are blessings and then there is junk.  Hurt feelings.  Misunderstandings.  Conflict that never gets resolved.  Small slights that grow, over time, to wreck families and classes and neighborhoods.

More and more I see this happening on Facebook.  Not long ago I saw a minor moment at someone’s family gathering mushroom into a big deal.  A good friend last week on Facebook said she was stepping back from the social community because of meanness that was more than she could bear.

Two generations before in our extended family, two brothers, living about fifty miles apart, went for more than 25 years without talking.  When they got together late in life neither could remember how the whole thing got started.

It’s an easy thing to live by the law of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”  It’s easy to strike back at those who hurt us.  And it is easy to run away.  Leave the family.  Exit the church.  Refuse to take phone calls.  Fight or flight…both are easy.

Jesus offers another way and it isn’t easy: forgiveness.  Forgiveness is a way forward.  Forgiveness is a decision not to let your yard and heart and head get cluttered up with every rusting wreck of betrayal or disappointment.

Frederick Buechner writes:  When somebody you’ve wronged forgives you, you’re spared the dull and self-diminishing throb of a guilty conscience.  When you forgive somebody who has wronged you, you’re spared the dismal corrosion of bitterness and wounded pride.  For both parties, forgiveness means the freedom again to be at peace inside their skins and to be glad in each other’s presence.

Join us this weekend for The Mystery of Forgiveness.  Then, on January 27^th we begin a series of messages on extreme MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION where we’ll explore what genuine community might look like when we allow God to shape our life.

In Christ and for Christ,

Mark

OF CANDLESTICKS AND ANGELS

The afternoon sunlight was coming through the corridor windows as our Director of Children’s Ministries, Alex Lamb, was putting away boxes of supplies and costumes used in the Christmas Pageant.  I looked at stacks of angel wings being put into cardboard boxes and destined for a nearby closet.  My heart took a dip.

There seemed to be something particularly sad about putting the angels’ gear away.  Almost as if we are headed back to normal.  And there is something sad about a world where angel wings are no longer needed.  I don’t really want to go back to normal…if that means a world without angels and songs and grace.

Because the Bible tells us angels always show up with the message, “Don’t be afraid!”  Not only do angels share that message, but they share grace.  “Good tidings,” the Bible says.  “He will save his people from their sins.”  It seems to me grace is in short supply.

So I saw the angels’ wings being put away and then headed off, last night, to see the film version of Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables. There, through the film, there are those two candlesticks that keep showing up as a reminder of grace.  Of a thief being forgiven by a parish priest and having a chance to live a new life.

One scene shows Jean Valjean working his way through the sewers of Paris as he works to save the life of a young revolutionary.

Loving, forgiving, being obedient to the call of Jesus to live grace-fully, is not easy.  We’ll have all sorts of reasons to turn back, get mean, give people what they deserve.  I see that too often.  People who have been in Bible study or worship or know the story of Jesus lash out when they have been hurt.  Loving when the one before you doesn’t deserve love is like dragging a wounded wreck of a man through a sewer full of dirt! 

Javert, the police officer who cannot swallow the unfairness of grace, whose universe is based on the assumption we only receive what we earn, has a great deal of company!

Again and again the film’s director places the two candlesticks, symbols of the grace offered Valjean, in the center of scenes. So we will remember that grace is at the center of the story…the drama…the lives… the songs.

The church is a community where we come together with a cross in the room.  So we will remember our story is a story of grace.  The cross is like those candlesticks which remind Jean Valjean that he has a reason to sing.  Grace defines his life and it is to this love he is faithful.

We live in a world starving for grace.  Maybe we should take the wings out of the closet…out of the boxes.

Paul, in Ephesians 3, prays his friends will be rooted and grounded in love.  We may not have wings, but if we are rooted and grounded in love we can do the work of God’s angels.  Like loving… forgiving… offering grace… maybe even showing up on January 21^st to bless others during our MLK Jr DAY ON.

Let’s get our wings back out!

In Christ and for Christ,

Mark

THE POSSIBILITY OF CHANGE

It was the first week of January, and I had come out of the locker room at the exercise center I used on State Street in Fort Wayne.  The place was usually fairly empty.  I had my choice of machines.  But on this morning the place was packed.

I thought that perhaps there was a class taking up the facility there at Parkside, and so I asked a trainer, “What is going on?”  He laughed and said, “Oh, it is the first week of the New Year.  People have made resolutions so they are here to workout.  Wait a week or two and you’ll have the place to yourself again.”

This year end phenomenon of making resolutions is interesting.  Why wait until we turn the calendar?  Why does it matter that one year has ended and another has begun?

It seems to me that the beginning of a new year and the passing of an old year is like one of those roadside parks with the sign that says SCENIC OVERLOOK.  There is this moment in time that is like a high piece of ground where you can pull off, looking back at where you have been and looking ahead at where you hope to go.

There are these moments in life when it feels like there is the possibility of change.  One of the reasons people go off on a vacation, or take a wilderness trip, or book passage on a ship sailing across the sea, or sign up for a spiritual retreat, is because we need to step away from life…see where we have drifted off-track and catch a glimpse of where we need to be.

Maybe the change in the calendar has you thinking about your life.  Maybe it is an exercise thing.  Or maybe you and a sibling have a relationship that needs mending.  Or perhaps you see how stunted your relationship with God has become.

My preaching professor observed that one of the most stunning things about Jesus is his assumption that people can change.  We’re not always stuck being who we were yesterday.  The sinful woman can become a living example of grace.  The leper can be made well.  A rich young professional can become known for what he gives away instead of what he makes and has.

Paul, in a passage from 2^nd Corinthians I often quote, claims that if anyone is in Christ they are becoming a new creation.

You know what?  The trainer at Parkside was right.  In a week or two the gym was nearly empty.  Just a few of the regulars were showing up to use the equipment.

It doesn’t have to be like that, you know?  With God there is the possibility of change.

I am praying for God to help birth in us the new life we need…and for which we hunger.

Please consider inviting a friend to join you this Sunday as we celebrate Communion and begin our series of messages on THE MYSTERY.  (See details below.)

Blessings to you in 2013,

Mark