On a sunny evening in late April,
I found myself in the company of twenty or so other people in the basement of
the Church preparing to talk about leadership. I didn't quite know what to
expect so I listened hard to the video that opened the session. It was a video
of Brene Brown's 2010 TedEx talk entitled "The Power of
Vulnerability" https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.
If you have not already seen this talk, I highly suggest that you follow the
link above.
Brown's research reveals that we, as adult Americans, are bad at
"doing" vulnerability. And because we are bad at being vulnerable, we
numb emotion. When we run from being vulnerable and numb our emotions, we:
(a) make everything that is
uncertain, certain;
(b) perfect: people, places,
things-everything around us and in our lives; and
(c) pretend that what we do
doesn't have an effect on people.
However, if we let ourselves be vulnerable, we will be seen-deeply seen for who
we are. At that point then we can begin to be our authentic selves. While it is
true that vulnerability is the birthplace of shame and fear, it is also the
mother to joy, creativity, belonging, and love.
While the video resonated with me, I still I found it a bit puzzling that it
was chosen to launch a meeting about leadership in a church. However, as the
meeting progressed and we started to discuss the "Big Stuff" in the
Church, I was finally able to connect the two together.
Representatives from the Finance Committee and the Board of Trustees presented
a joint request for approval by the Church Council. The request was for
authority to appoint a task force to investigate the options for use of the
Post Office site. As with most things concerning the Post office site, the
discussion that ensued showed the spectrum of opinions on the issue. Here is
where I had my "Aha" moment, as Oprah likes to call it.
What I drew from Brown's talk,
viewed from the lens of Church leadership, is that leaders need to be allowed
to be vulnerable in order to truly listen and be authentic in their
relationships with others. The task force for which the Trustees and Finance
Committee were seeking approval is created in order to be vulnerable with the congregation
in respect to the Post Office site. We as a congregation are frightened about
what the site holds for us. We are scared to do nothing, yet we are also scared
of doing too much or taking the wrong steps. And because we are frightened, our
actions show we are striving to make the outcome perfect, and make the
uncertain, certain. Without the permission to be vulnerable in our processes,
and leaders to carry out that courageous task, we will only end up taking
action which pretends that it does not have an effect on people.
So, I see that the task force is charged to be visionaries, to let us, the
congregation of First United Methodist Church, be seen and to present not one
answer ("the" Answer) but different options for discussion. In so
doing, the task force will enable the congregants to connect, rather than
divide, over the future of the Post Office Site and the mission of this Church.
- Jessica
L. Merkel
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