Bill was a Purdue guy. An engineer for GE who served as the
congregation’s chairperson of the Staff Parish Relations Committee. I was
a young guy who happened to be the senior pastor of a large Fort Wayne-area
church.
We were about as different as night and day, Bill and I were. He was
thoughtful, quiet, wired like an engineer, a man of faith, and Bill had more
than his share of wisdom.
Soon after I arrived in that town Bill called me. He asked how I was
doing and then said, “I notice you have us standing for the reading of the
Gospel. Our people really love reading the text out of the pew Bibles and
it is a tough for them to stand, listen, and read at the same time. Maybe
we could stand now and then, but not every Sunday?” Bill helped me see
something I was missing.
Another year he discovered that I had sent Sharon and the boys to Florida while
I stayed behind to watch a building project move along. Bill caught me at
church on Sunday, pulled me aside, and “got in my grill.” He said, “I
hear Sharon and the kids are in Florida,” I said, “Yes.” “Why are
you here, then?” he asked. I hesitated. “I guess I thought I needed
to be here,” I explained. “As long you are a pastor here, I never want
you to do this again, alright?” Bill said. “You need to be with your
family. We want you with your family. Go away…the church will be
just fine!” It was a lesson I have never forgotten.
Years later a lay leader walked into my office and told me it was time to deal
with a ineffective member of our church staff. I had been doing
everything I could to avoid making a tough decision. Karen closed the
door to my office, walked over to my desk, and said, “It is time. This is
draining you and the church.”
Some words of truth church members have had for me have been hard. The
ones that made a difference, though, weren’t just hard: they were spoken to me
by people who loved God, cared about me, and wanted the best for me and for
their church.
I share these stories because I think of the great lay people who have coached
me along the way. Anthony Robinson, as he talks about the importance of
healthy, engaged, thoughtful followers in the Christian church says the fourth
characteristic is that “good followers practice the art of learning and giving
good feedback.”
If we care about those who are in a leadership role, he says, honest feedback
is more valuable than general words of praise. Why did something
work? How was a Bible study, or a weekend retreat, or leadership class
helpful?
Barbara Blodgett, in her book Becoming
the Pastor You Hope to Be, notes that praise tends to focus on the
person (“You are the best pastor we’ve ever had”) and then it flips over into
“equally extravagant and unfocused criticism" (“She’s just the wrong
pastor for us.”)
If we want to help grow our leaders, we need to offer loving, specific, feedback.
I love the way the father-in-law of Moses helps him see the importance of
delegation. I love the way the Hellenistic Jews in Acts 6 spoke up and
said, “Someone needs to figure out a way to take care of the widows who aren’t
receiving food in our church.”
Great followers help encourage and sharpen effective leaders. They do
that by offering loving, specific coaching. This kind of feedback is a
loving gift.
Leadership is something we all do together. Thanks for helping your
pastors, and class leaders, and small group facilitators, and directors become
even better at serving people and glorifying God!
In Christ and for Christ,
Mark
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